Want to know what laziness is? I just took the screen off of my window to throw a grapefruit peel out, just so I didnt have to walk downstairs to the garbage. That is true laziness, my friends.

milestoskibeforeisleep:

"Yeah, but can she ski…?"

My coping mechanism for jealousy.

(via peebeforeyouski)

neptunain:

sorry boys, but I already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested

(via peebeforeyouski)

"I don’t think you understand that you can literally rip my heart out and stomp on it and I’ll apologize for getting your shoes dirty."
- the best text I’ve ever received (via soulsscrawl)

(Source: battleagainsttheworld, via xxwar-paintxx)

dropdeadesu:

A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”

Yeah I read this as doing meth

(via xxwar-paintxx)